Sorry I haven’t written in forever, but after school, I have clean-up duty. I think Mike sheds every 15 minutes, and each time, the skin and goo covers the floor. Before I can even wring out the mop, he sheds another layer. And he is HUGE! He’s already full-size, and he’s only a week old!
Dad thinks he’s growing too quickly. He asked an alien pediatrician to examine him. Seems like he may have too many hormones and toxins in his system already. When Mom was pregnant, she drank a lot of milk and ate a lot of red meat. None of it was organic. She craved more milk and meat with this pregnancy, and I guess it caught up with Mike.
The doc said Mom can’t breastfeed anymore so he doesn’t ingest more hormones. He’s on formula now. Giving an alien a bottle is nearly impossible. I mean, breastfeeding looks hard enough. Aliens just don’t like holding bottles. Our hands are too big, and even the bottles made for aliens don’t work very well.
Now, Dad’s worried he won’t be getting enough nutrients since he can’t seem to drink from the bottle. I hope this means he stops growing. I swear, I am exhausted from cleaning up! And I need my after-school time back. Have to hang out with my friends, go to the mall, you know, be a 16 year old!
At least Mike is super adorable which makes a little easier. I forgot to show you his cute ultrasound a day before Mom laid the egg: