Tony Rizzoli, Grandpa’s childhood friend, was on Letterman last night.  He was promoting his new tell-all book, My Life with the Connors.


Tony protected Sarah and Uncle John Connor also, and Grandpa trained him.  Every terminator bodyguard obviously learned every detail about the Connors–what are their habits, who are their friends, what are they eating.

So Grandpa and Uncle John were completely shocked when they heard about Tony’s book. Uncle John and his lawyers tried stopping the publication but lost.  Grandpa talked to his old friend many times, but Tony wouldn’t budge.  He had been homeless and unemployed for a long time and needed the money.

Luckily, we’re not at war anymore. Otherwise, all the war secrets and strategies would have been leaked.  I mean, really classified stuff.  Tony lost a lot of friends in the terminator community, and crowds followed him everywhere screaming “traitor.”

Grandpa left the room as soon as Tony made a crass joke about the Connor family. He was so rude and said such horrible lies.  I mean, Uncle John’s the nicest guy and united terminators and humans.  If it weren’t for him, the war would still be going, or Skynet would’ve destroyed Earth.

About Ripley Connor

Part alien. Part human. Part terminator. All mixed up.

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