I have to admit being an alien is pretty disgusting.  The slime, the molting. We’re not as gooey and drippy like in the movies, but it’s still bad. Especially when we cry, our whole bodies seem to cry too. And we sweat the mucus stuff. Scientists are still trying to make better anti-perspirants. But they only work for like an hour, so I’m always in the bathroom, reapplying it and of course, fixing my hair and makeup. I’ve heard some aliens don’t get modeling jobs if they’re too slimy. I hope scientists figure out a way to control the mucus soon!

So many aliens don’t clean their ooze! Can you imagine?? Absolutely disgusting. Of course, Rick and Maria seem to love wallowing in their own muck.  And I swear, it seems like I’m the only one cleaning up the mess.  I have mopped so many times, the floor is literally spotless. I mean, why can’t they help out with something, right?

Luckily, we’re not filled with acid now, just regular blood. Those films only showed very early generations of us, before our genes got mixed with humans.  Otherwise, Dad would melt around all of us since he is a terminator made of metal!

The molting is really nasty. We shed until puberty, around three or four times a year. Actually, Elizabeth molted a few days ago. She’s my favorite sister, so I don’t mind cleaning up after her. She gets really upset when she sheds her skin because she can’t fit into her clothes anymore.  Of course that means shopping!!! And I love buying her little outfits that match mine!

After we finish molting, when we’re 12 or something, doctors put us on the pill, so we don’t start dropping a bunch of eggs.  Contraception also helps control our drooling, and it keeps our skin pretty nice too. Aliens don’t get pimples or anything, just like human females don’t on birth control.  Thank GOD! I don’t even want to think about dealing with the slime and zits!  I mean, just kill me now, right?

I think the muck is the worst when we’re eggs, and Dana is still in hers. It’s a constant chore to keep that area clean.  Luckily, Mom does most of it since aliens get so attached to their eggs.  Mom’s been pacing around because Dana is due to hatch anytime now. I can’t wait to meet her in person!  We talk all the time, and Elizabeth even reads to her. It is the cutest thing ever!  I can’t wait to have a new baby sister.  Even though we’re messy, baby aliens are just adorable. And they need plenty of clothes since they ooze so much.  More shopping, right?

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About Ripley Connor

Part alien. Part human. Part terminator. All mixed up.

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