My family of men, monsters and machines

I wrote a little bit about Shelley yesterday, so I’ll tell you more about my family. We’re pretty average, no one is crazy violent like in the Alien movies.  I really want to ask those directors if they even met an alien before making those movies!!  I am so scared to see Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, but I know I have to, especially for my media class.

My mom, Betty, is really cool. Her great-grandmother is Ellen Ripley, and that’s how I got my name. My mom’s dad, Edward, was a human and obviously died in childbirth.  Mom is a writer and works mainly for Alien Life magazine. She used to work for Hybrid News, but they folded a few years ago.

My dad is a nurse, and he cares for aliens, humans and terminators which is rare. He also loves putzing around in his garage making new things. That’s how he created body parts for us. I have to admit my legs he made are super cool–really long and slim, perfect for modeling.  Of course, dad was thinking they’d be great for basketball!

Mom and Dad met at an Alien-human-terminator Alliance meeting at Temple University.  Apparently, it was love at first sight!

Hal is my oldest sibling at 24, and we get along really well.  He’s an accountant but wanted to be an interior designer. I will never give up on my dreams.  Fashion is my life! That and boys of course. Hal is into fashion and boys too! He and his boyfriend take me shopping sometimes, and he bought me the cutest Betsey Johnson dress ever.  It’s the most expensive outfit I have.

I told you a little about Shelley. She’s 22, married to Andre, a suave French guy. And she’s the greatest scientist ever.  She graduated top of her class at University of Virginia.  She’s working on some project analyzing alien eggs and genetics or something. All I know is I wish I had her genes for beautiful hair! I’m still trying to grow mine long, but it seems to be stuck at this point. At least my long head is covered, and I don’t look like a freak.

Speaking of freaks, my brother Rick is such a tool. He’s 20, lives at home and jumps from job to job. He. Doesn’t. Do. Anything!!  He just follows his girlfriend around, buying stupid things for her with the little money he gets. I don’t think he’ll ever move out of the house.

Another total freak—my 13 year old sister, Maria. She makes Lisbeth Salander look like a beauty queen. She shaves her head and just looks horrible!! I’ve bought her nice things, but she drives her dirt bike over them until they become shreds. Then she dyes everything black. I don’t know how anyone can be so depressed at 13.  Somehow, she has a boyfriend who seems pretty decent!  I can’t get a boyfriend, but this total weirdo can??  I think boys are just intimidated by me.

My favorite sibling is little Elizabeth who’s a precious 8 year old punkin.  She loves makeup and clothes almost as much as me. I always try to make her the most stylish girl in her class, and no one even comes close.  I just want to squeeze her cheeks every time I see her!

Then there’s Dana who’s still in her egg. She can talk and hear us, and I can tell she’s already smart—she doesn’t like Maria either!  Dana is going to fit in with me and Elizabeth really well.

That’s the gang. Thank GOD for Shelley, Hal, Elizabeth and my parents who are actually normal!